The Arrival

On June 22nd, 2017, we welcomed our son into the world! It took 5 years for him to arrive, which seemed like forever in retrospect. If you’re reading this because you have just gone through or are about to go through a reversal, I wish you the very best and hope you will have a smooth recovery!

Four Years Later… BFP!

I’ll admit, after my last post (so long ago), things didn’t really go anywhere. None of the options we pursued panned out. We stopped short of IVF (oh my dollar signs!), although we did choose to have some of my boys frozen in case we ever had enough money and desire to pursue that route.

…and then we gradually reached a heartbreaking moment where we decided that this was just not in the cards for us (we were told that the chances for it happening naturally were extremely low). Thus began the slow road towards acceptance.

HOLD THE PRESSES! 

Guess what, folks?

Here’s some irony for you. When we were trying to do everything right, nothing was working. Once we decided to accept things and stop trying so hard, we stopped worrying about things like avoiding alcohol and having a laptop on my lap.

And go figure, we got a Big Fat Positive about a month ago (a little over 4 years since the reversal)! It’s still early, so we are cautiously optimistic. However, I wanted to share this news in hopes that it might be uplifting to some of you out there that followed the earlier stories leading up to this point.

12/5/2014 – Trending Upwards

May 2014 – August  2014

My last post had me looking at a 26 million sperm count and starting an antibiotics regimen (Doxycycline) that was going to last for 2 weeks. Instead of getting another analysis done immediately at the end of the 2 weeks, the doctor just prescribed another semen analysis for 8/15, for a total of about 3 months since the one with the 26 million count.

So 8/15 came and not only did the white blood cells (WBC) still show up, indicating there was still some kind of infection, but my sperm count dropped to 11 million! This time, the lab also threw in the WBC count, which was 990,000 WBC per ML. Overall, not a good analysis. To top it all off, the antibiotics had a side effect of making me feel just down and out of it all. Not sure if that happens to everyone, but at least it was only 2 weeks…

Dr. Hickman said he wasn’t sure how to proceed any further, and recommended I go to a urologist or an infertility clinic for more help, so I scheduled a visit with a local urologist, Dr. Robertson.

He turned out to be a pretty nice guy – not quite as good of a bedside manner as Dr. Hickman, but still pretty good and calm. He suggested a different kind of antibiotic, “Cipro” (ciprofloxacin), and prescribed it for 3 weeks, saying that it usually worked better “for issues down there.” He also suggested switching to Aleve instead of the daily Advil, since Aleve has a longer release cycle (12 hours versus Advil’s 4 hours). I didn’t have a lot of Aleve in the house, so I only took it until I ran out and then switched back to Advil until I could get some more Aleve.

On top of that, he wasn’t too sure about the Fertility Blend but said taking it couldn’t hurt, so that wasn’t an issue. He also said not to worry about the “defect” counts on the sperm analysis, since they weren’t actually proven to affect anything. The most important numbers on the analysis were count and motility. Looking back at my 8/15 analysis, I had a 55% motility, which wasn’t great, but not terrible.

So I picked up the Cipro prescription and started down that path, with my next analysis set up for 9/29/2014.

September 29th, 2014

After finishing the Cipro regimen and getting my next analysis, the results were MUCH better!

The WBCs were gone and my sperm count jumped to a whopping 38 million! Woohoo! And on top of that, the motility increased to 71%, which is a really nice improvement, too. Pretty much everything factor improved after the Cipro got rid of the infection.

CryoSperm!!!

My wife’s OBGYN then suggested that we freeze some of my sperm, since it was fairly good quality right now, and since the quality can go up and down fairly quickly with anyone who’s gone through the stuff I’ve gone through. So we went ahead and did that, which also resulted in another set of sperm statistics (spermtistics?) since the lab has to analyze the sample before preserving it. The latest sample was also somewhat decent – 29 million count, so even though it went down, it’s still overall an upwards trending number.

IUI

In November 2014, we decided to try out IUI, since it was much less expensive than IVF. Basically, the procedure involves my wife taking some medicine for a few days at the beginning of her cycle, which essentially preps her body for ovulation. Then, once it nears the time for ovulation, she gives herself a small “trigger” shot that forces her body to ovulate in about 24-48 hours from that point in time. Then the following morning, the guy provides a sample (just like doing another semen analysis), and the lab “washes” the sample. The washing basically removes slow-moving sperm and removes some coating, and results in a small, concentrated sample of the best sperm in the bunch. Basically boot camp for sperm. Then, the doctor takes the washed sample and uses a catheter to push the sample straight into the cervix (letting them bypass some of the normal barriers). For those who remember old Nintendo/Sega/etc video games, just think of it as a secret code that lets sperm skip to the last level in the game.

So we did all that, which was an interesting experience in itself. I had come down with a cold the weekend that we were supposed to do all this, so I didn’t think the numbers were going to be that great, but I still ended up with 48 million sperm (so close to 50!!!), but the overall motility was slow (they were probably sick like me). After the wash, the final sample was 4 million sperm with a 95% motility. The doctor said 10 million sperm was optimal, but that she had seen pregnancies with as low as 1 million.

The trigger shot that my wife gave herself was essentially an injection of the pregnancy hormone. So once this IUI process was done, we couldn’t really take any early pregnancy tests, because they could result in a false positive. It apparently takes about 10-12 days for the injection to completely get out of the system, so the only way to really tell if it worked or not was to wait the full 2 weeks and just see if there was a period or a positive pregnancy test.

We’re now on day 12 of 14, a Friday, and it’s been the longest 2 weeks EVER (it’s really hard not to read into any little change that my wife feels). However, come Sunday or Monday, we’ll have one of those two options and we’re praying for a positive test!!!

5/1/2014 – Back in Business!

I have sworn off trying to do any more at-home semen analysis kits (the kind you buy from Walgreens – SpermCheck or something). I was very disappointed when I tried one of them just to see if I was at least at the 20 million sperm count mark, and it came out negative, meaning I was under.

Then a month later, I ended up taking another full lab analysis, and the numbers came out GREAT! I’m now at 26 million, with good motility, morphology, etc… Everything is within normal range now, although apparently I have some white blood cells (WBCs), but not sure how much. Apparently WBCs negatively impact count and quality, so Dr. Hickman ended up prescribing some antibiotics for it, which I picked up today.

It’s crazy to think that I’m back at a normal range after that zero count last year. For the record, I’ve resumed the 2 Advil and 2 Fertility Blend tablets regimen at night, just to be on the safe side.

Rollercoaster Months – Aug. 8th

Wow, what an unbelievable amount of ups and downs over the past 8 months. The short answer to someone’s recent question about success is that no, we have not yet been successful, but there is a lot more info to that story, and it is still ending on a positive note.

“A DANGEROUS MAN”
After the surgery, Dr. Hickman had joked about me being “a dangerous man” in about 3-4 months. Everything had gone swimmingly, and in conjunction with that statement, we had REALLY high expectations of getting pregnant in that time frame (around February – March). However, February came and went, and about halfway through March, we decided that I should go ahead with the semen analysis. However, I put off getting a follow-up semen analysis because of various things that were going on in our lives, including a move from Virginia all the way to Texas in April. Then, after our move, there were more complications in our lives that delayed getting the analysis done, but FINALLY we got around to doing it in May.

THE RESULTS
The process of doing a semen analysis wasn’t too bad. They try to make you comfortable and give you everything you need to provide a “sample” but it’s hard to shake the realization that you’re sitting in a small, dark room, expected to take care of business while some unseen lab tech is in the other room is waiting for a cup to be placed in a drawer. However, I did not disappoint the tech, and we began to wait to hear the results. The lab told us that they would fax the results over to the doctor and we’d hear back that afternoon. Long story short, there was a LOT of miscommunication and faxing problems that led to us finally just asking for a copy of the lab results, which was promptly faxed over.

Until I saw that result, I had been blissfully unaware of what people meant by the word “devastation.” The lab report wasn’t hard to understand when there was a clear comment on the side that said that zero sperm had been seen and there had been no other discrepancies seen in the sample.

I rarely, RARELY ever cry, but I had placed so much hope and faith into the assumption that the surgery had gone well that it was absolutely numbing and impossible to hold back tears. I sat there, shocked, then showed the report to my wife, who tried to be supportive but realization hit both of us and we had not heard back from the doctor, either. I’ll skip over the next few weeks, but you can likely imagine that every day was dark, and every other day contained a discussion, “Why us? Why can’t we get pregnant while teenagers get knocked up all the time by accident?” On top of that, the summer of 2013 has pretty much been filled with EVERYONE getting pregnant or giving birth, from friends to celebrities to British royalty, so it was pretty much impossible to avoid being reminded of failure on a daily basis.

Since we still hadn’t heard back from Dr. Hickman, we researched a number of things on our own that could have been impacting my count:

1. Retrograde Ejaculation – This is basically when there IS sperm, but it can’t get into the semen because some nerves aren’t firing right, so the semen ends up going into the bladder instead. Sometime after sex, my urine would be cloudy, which was a symptom of this, so we tried the “Sudafed” approach (apparently 2-3 pills of regular, non-timed-released Sudafed helps the bladder close off so that the sperm go into the right spot). Typically, this also has a symptom of SOME sperm in the semen, and also a low volume of ejaculate, so it wasn’t likely to be the cause for me, and sure enough, it didn’t help. To be certain, I also tried an at-home semen analysis test from Walgreens after taking the Sudafed, and no luck.

2. Varicoceles – This is when some veins get dilated with excess blood in the scrotum and cause blockages. Not much you can do without surgery here, and the symptoms didn’t all fit, so we moved on.

3. Scarring – This would be when the surgical site scarred over too much, blocking the vas deferens, even though everything was connected. This would result in a zero sperm count, and my wife pointed out that I also scar fairly easily, so we were pretty positive this was the issue.

4. Insufficient Recovery Time – Some internet stories said that people had gotten zero sperm counts and later had achieved pregnancy anyway (miracles?), and that recovery could take up to a full year. We also considered the idea that maybe something had come loose. I had experienced cramps during recovery, but maybe those were a sign of something else.

My wife’s gyno (who apparently specializes in infertility, too) said that it sounds like things scarred over, and he had never heard of the Sudafed approach (which made us feel stupid), and he referred a urologist  that he knew who dealt with this topic and was also specialized in infertility. He also mentioned that IVF was still an option, but we REALLY REALLY do not want IVF. At the very least, we figured that I should get checked out to make sure nothing came loose or anything wrong like that.

So we went to this doctor, Dan French. After waiting for about a half-hour in one of the examination rooms, he finally showed up, did a couple tests, and essentially echoed the gyno, except he had said that he knew about the Sudafed approach and had recommended it for patients with retrograde ejaculation. So we felt a little less stupid about that part, but this guy had ZERO bedside manner. Talk about a doctor who is completely detached and distant. My wife broke down in the office when he basically said that it was probably scarring and that a second reversal (which is even more delicate and risky)  was the only way, aside from IVF, and he just seemed to continue, trying to get through it and get out of there. In any event, we asked a lot of questions, but he said there’s no way to really see inside to see if it’s scarring without another surgery, but that everything still felt attached.

Still depressed: check.

DOCTOR HICKMAN 
My wife told me to try and call Dr. Hickman again. It had been weeks since the results had been faxed over, and we had received no word from him. “Wrath” does not adequately describe my wife’s feelings towards him at this point.  She really just wanted closure on the topic, and getting his opinion was pretty much the last step.

So we finally were able to get on a call with him. He apologize profusely for the mixup – apparently he had marked off something that said that he had already gotten back in touch with us. However, he said that the zero sperm count was confusing since everything had looked so good during the surgery and he had seen how the scarring had been from the original vasectomy. He suggested that it might be chronic inflammation, and that I should take two Ibuprofen, twice a day, for a month, and then go get another analysis.

He asked if I had taken the Fertility Blend vitamins that he had suggested, and I said no, and he said to keep holding off on that for now.

We hung up and there was a glimmer of hope, but four Ibuprofen for a month did NOT seem like the answer. Still, I started the regiment and went back for another analysis a month later (late July).

THE SECOND SEMEN ANALYSIS
Holy… A NON-ZERO COUNT!!!! Dr. Hickman called back to say that while my count was still really low (550,000 sperm vs. the normal 20 million), that there was definitely some sperm and that I should continue the Ibuprofen regiment and start with the Fertility Blend, too. I got the results faxed over to me, too, so I could keep it for memorabilia.

I was SO unbelievably happy to have a non-zero count. I didn’t care if it was a low count – a low count meant that there was SOME success, and that things weren’t completely scarred off! (In retrospect, I’m beginning to wonder if Dan French and the gyno both got kickbacks from IVF procedures or something, since they both heavily suggested it as the best next options for us. )

THOUGHTS ON FERTILITY BLEND
I’m not really big on taking supplements of any kind. To some degree, I think people invest too much into homeopathic remedies, but I figured I would give it a try anyway. GNC sells this stuff locally for about $40 for a bottle of 60 capsules, so at two pills a day, it’ll last a month. I’ve been taking it for about a week now, and I feel fine, although a couple of times, I’ve felt a bit nauseous, but it’s not been too bad. This morning, I decided to try taking it in the morning with the first two Ibuprofen, but I forgot to eat, and I ended up throwing up. So note to self (and readers): if you’re on this regiment, make sure you eat something BEFORE taking the vitamins!

ON ALCOHOL AND DIET SODA
I thought a while about what I had done, eaten, drank after my surgery, and I realized that during all the ultra-stressful months between the surgery, Christmas, some craziness at work, and moving to a new state, I had probably had at least one glass of wine a day, and I practically lived on Diet Coke during work hours. That said, I’m wondering if all that wine and diet soda had an impact on inflammation, so I’ve cut it out almost completely. I’ll have a drink if we go out to dinner at a restaurant, or a soda if we pick up fast food, but pretty much nothing else while at home. It’s not really a scientific test, since there are multiple things going on that could affect the sperm count, but it’s better for me anyway not to have an excess of either of those things, so we’ll see what things look like at my next analysis in about 2-3 months.

FINAL THOUGHTS FOR NOW
I have to admit that even with a tiny count that would be nearly impossible to result in a pregnancy, I feel a sense of renewed hope that was absolutely demolished after that first analysis, and I’m very grateful that Dr. Hickman had the insight to suggest something that nobody else (including the urologist who supposedly specialized in this area) had suggested. Sure, it was frustrating not to hear from him for so long after the first results, but stuff happens.

Flying Back Home the Day Afterwards – Nov. 2nd

FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT:
The following morning we went back to the office so that Dr. Hickman could take a look at everything and make sure there were no problems. He said that a small percentage of patients could get a “haematoma” which is basically a collection of blood that forms inside the scrotum (more frequently with vasectomies). When I looked it up later, it appears that it makes everything swell up quickly with lots of bruising and lots of pain. I didn’t have one (I wasn’t really worried that I did, since I felt fine), but he said I would know if I had one. We finished with a quick Q&A session and 10 minutes later were on our way back to the airport.

BREAKFAST:
We stopped at a shopping center and went to a Panera so that we could eat breakfast and also (more importantly) to answer nature’s call (sorry, Panera). In retrospect, I probably should have taken a Colace or something the previous day to help things go a little smoother, but I was still able to take care of business without popping a stitch. Also, their Turkey BLT is a good sandwich.

AIRPORT:
To avoid trying to take a large step on and off of the rental car shuttle, my wife dropped me off at the airport entrance and I lounged around inside a bookstore, where I could lean on things and sit down (more because I -knew- I should sit down, rather than because I -needed- to). She dropped off the rental car, took the shuttle back, and we stood in the security line for about 30 minutes (there’s a lot of military that flies through San Antonio) before I could sit down again. This entire time, she was hauling around 2 backpacks and her purse while I walked/limped beside her, looking like a jerk to everyone else. Fun times.

Dr. Hickman had given us a letter to give to the TSA to tell them to be careful if they needed to pat down my body for any reason, but I didn’t seem to need it.

AIRPLANE RIDE:
We had a bumpy ride back, but neither the sharp take-off, the bumpy ride, nor landing (with the hard braking) seemed to really affect me much. That said, I had taken one of the painkillers and the Advil dosage prior to the plane, so that may have helped.

HOME AGAIN / THE WEEKEND / SWELLING:
Not being able to lift, push, pull, or anything else over 15 pounds is pretty restrictive, so I ended up just laying in bed for the entire weekend. It was Saturday before I remembered that we needed to put ice or frozen veggie packs to reduce swelling, so things down there swelled up to the point where it looked like I was carrying around two plums. The right side was much darker than the left side (although it had the larger granule that was removed, which is probably why). At one point, it was nearly black all over (and you thought blue balls was bad), but still relatively no pain.

I started putting packs of frozen peas on, 15-20 minutes per side, but it didn’t seem to do much by the time I had started doing this. Still, it was probably better than not doing it. I then read that I was only supposed to be doing it for up to the first 72 hours, so I stopped on Monday.

THE FOLLOWING WEEK (SHOWERS, RESTROOM, AND NATURAL REACTIONS):
Over the course of the following week, swelling SLOWLY reduced and normal color began to return. I had some cramping and some tightness every once in a while, but nothing terrible or long-lasting.

I did continue to take one Colace per day for the first week, which definitely made things easier in the restroom.

I felt increasingly better over the week, and I started having to force myself to remember that things could still pop/snap/etc… and force myself to not do certain things. I’d already done a couple of no-no’s just off pure reaction (moving quickly to catch something that was about to fall, etc…), but for the most part, I’d been good. It would’ve been nice to have a walk-in shower, but I was still able to get in with relative ease. My wife helped towel off my legs afterwards and put socks on, etc… anything that would normally require me to bend over all the way.

SEX AND STUFF:
I’ll be blunt, having to go three weeks minimum without any ejaculation is a little tough when you’re married (recently or not). I wasn’t doing anything proactively to encourage erections, but you can’t always control dreams nor natural body behavior, so I had to just wait it out whenever I had an erection. I hate cold showers with a passion, so waiting it out and focusing on something else was the better option. Still, I was thankful that everything was still working and responding!

The Surgery – Nov. 1st

I woke up at 9 am that morning and cleaned up some of the remaining hairs that had been matted down with water and had been missed the previous night. I wasn’t too hungry or thirsty (thank goodness, since I couldn’t eat or drink 6 hours prior to the procedure).

ARRIVING AT THE OFFICE:
We drove over to the office, which was only about 10 minutes away, and got there about 40 minutes prior to the procedure. The reception area was your typical doctor’s waiting area, with a small couch and various chairs next to a coffee table with several magazines. The nurse came out and greeted us and happily handed over the typical consent forms, and chatted cheerily with my wife as I filled out the form. I tried hard to ignore the screaming from the other room (just kidding). Dr. Hickman was finishing up on his first surgery of that morning, and we overheard him talking to the couple about how it all went, prescriptions, nearest pharmacy, and all the post-op instructions (pain medication, do’s and don’ts, etc…). The couple came out with Dr. Hickman, and the guy (while walking a little awkward) smiled at me and joked that “it wasn’t terrible” before leaving.

PREPARATION:
We followed Dr. Hickman back into his office, where he sat us down and talked over everything that was about to be done, asked a few more questions, and explained that pretty much everything was painless except for the “first few minutes, which are miserable.” I probably would have chosen a more supportive word than “miserable” but he was trying to be honest. He then led me to the bathroom to get dressed into one of those open-in-the-back surgical gowns. In hindsight, I probably should have used a more ragged T-shirt that could get stained (from the liquid they use to clean and prepare the surgical site), but they folded up the shirt and kept it nice and clean.

Meanwhile, my wife went and got dressed in scrubs, since she was allowed to be in the room. I’ve gotten hurt in all sorts of ways during the course of my life, so I don’t have a problem with taking pain, but it was definitely nice to have her presence there. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Coming out of the bathroom, I was led to the operating room, where I laid down on the table (which was comfortable enough). There was a little curtain separating everything, so I could only see things that were around my head, and my wife stood right behind my head. Then they lifted the gown, covered everything with cloth, sanitized everything, and commented that I had done a good enough job shaving that they didn’t have to do anything more in that regard. Then they put a large strip of something on my side, which was a little cold, but I guess it was some kind of monitoring electrode. I forgot all about it until after the surgery (it was sticky, so it was a little like taking a big piece of masking tape off your skin).

IT BEGINS:
Dr. Hickman told me everything he was doing before he did it, so I could anticipate it all. As expected and as described, the only painful part was just the initial anesthesia. I couldn’t see it, but it felt like about 4-5 bee stings on the surface of my left side of my scrotum, about 5 seconds apart. I was told to relax and breathe deep, although that proved to be a little hard to do. I still did my best, and my wife kept talking to me and trying to tell me to breathe deep, so it was easier to do when listening to her. After the initial anesthesia, he also had to anesthetize the vas deferens, as well (since it has nerves that can produce pain, as well). This was also uncomfortable, but not in the same stinging way. The doctor told me it would feel like being kicked in the groin, but it was much LESS painful than that (I used to play soccer). If you want to know what it feels like, try to squeeze your own vas deferens. It doesn’t take much pressure, but it should produce what feels like a strong, but dull ache. It only lasted for a few seconds, during which I breathed hard. Breathe. Breathe…. and it’s over.

It also helped that there was some nice instrumental music the entire time. A lot of it was movie music and we passed some of the time by trying to name the movie that the music was from.

Since it was pain-free at this point, I couldn’t quite tell what he was doing, but I surmised that he was just opening things up and preparing for the actual surgical re-attachment process. At one point, he finally told me that now I had to lie very still, because he was going to start the actual process. I’m a bit of a twitchy person, so I worried about this, but it was easy enough. It did not help that someone said something funny and I had to try to keep from laughing. I chuckled a bit, but I think the doctor had anticipated this and waited until things settled before continuing. So if you’re reading this, try to keep joking to a minimum when you’re supposed to lay still.

Finally, he finished that side and stitched everything up and declared that we were done “with that side.”

THE RIGHT SIDE:
Since he does a “bi-lateral vasovasectomy”, he does the process twice – once on each side. Sadly, this meant another round of anesthesia on my right side, but I breathed hard along with my wife’s coaching (you wouldn’t think that it would help, but it does) and got through it. I felt the dull ache continue a little further up into my abdomen this time, but it was bearable and it was over soon enough.

Then it was the same as before – pain-free, ending in 3 stitches in the right side of my scrotum.

During the surgery, he paused a few times. One time he analyzed some of the residual semen/sperm that were found in the tubes and said that they were “whole tadpoles” so even though they were dead (because of the vasectomy), it was still a good sign. My wife was invited to go over and look, which she happily did.

He also found two “granules” – one on either side. Apparently, these were results of some leakage after the initial vasectomy – semen that had leaked and formed into a small marble that was putting pressure on the vas deferens. These were the lumps that I had felt after my vasectomy 11 years ago. Now, these were also a good thing. Although they had to be removed during the procedure (meaning some extra surgical time and probably some more sensitivity post-op), they were putting some pressure on the vas in a way that was beneficial towards a successful reversal.

My wife looked at the granules and said they looked like small marbles. Sadly, she refused to take a picture for me with her phone and said they weren’t all that interesting. Oh well.

FINISHING UP:
About 2 hours after it started, it was finished, and I was hungry for some lunch. My wife and the doctor helped put on my clothes and helped me sit up slowly. I would be waddling slowly for a little bit. I didn’t really feel pain (nothing like the bowling ball effect after my original vasectomy), but I was careful nonetheless. The sutures/stitches that were used inside were extremely tiny and I also had a stronger connection from my abdomen to my groin muscles, so I had to be extra careful when doing anything that involved my abdominal muscles.

We sat down in the doctor’s office again and discussed the procedure. He said that the chances of success were extremely high – far higher than the initial 65% estimate he had given. Then he talked about pain  management (ice packs/frozen bags of veggies, prescription pain killers, several dosages of Advil, and the compression shorts), gave us a bunch of information on following up and how to reach him, etc, etc… and finally gave us a recommendation on a place to go eat for lunch (which turned out to be a fantastic recommendation).

AFTER LUNCH (PASSING OUT):
We headed back to the hotel after lunch and I carefully laid down in bed and worked on reading a book for the remainder of the day. Strangely enough, even though I had drank like 4-5 cups of Diet Coke at lunch, I hadn’t felt the need to pee in a while. When evening came, I decided to give it a try anyway (I felt pressure, but none of that I-gotta-go urge). It took some concentration and caution to try and keep my body from instinctively clenching the muscles, but I was able to go…. and then I felt REALLY light-headed and dizzy all of a sudden. I started to get nauseous, so I stumbled back to the bed and sat on the edge, where I proceeded to nearly pass out. My wife noticed and held me against her stomach for a bit, then helped me lay back down, and I was better in a a little while. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have tried to do it all on my own the first time. Subsequent times were far easier and happened without any danger of passing out.

My wife went to the same place we went for lunch (there was just so much more stuff that looked good – the place was Gruene River Grill) and brought dinner back to the room, and we ate, took my antibiotic and next helping of Advil and painkiller, and went to bed early.

Surgery: check.
Dr. Hickman: excellent.

The Day Before Tomorrow – Oct. 31st

The morning of October 31st, 2012, my wife and I woke up at the crack of dawn, headed to the airport, and flew to San Antonio, Texas. We arrived, got the rental car, and proceeded to drive down to the hotel in New Braunfels (about 30-45 minutes’ drive from the airport). The doctor had recommended that I get compression shorts for better support afterwards (“Gravity is your enemy” was how the doctor and also the nurse had put it). Dick’s Sporting Goods only had some athletic boxer briefs (I know the following link is from Sports Authority, not from Dick’s, but it’s the same product):

http://www.sportsauthority.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11789345

These had some nice crotch support to them, but they weren’t officially “compression shorts” so I picked up some BCG compression shorts along the way at Academy Sports for about $13 each:

http://www.academy.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product_10151_10051_47171_-1

However, in retrospect, these did not work as well as the more-expensive UnderArmour boxer briefs (in my opinion). So even though I now have 4 pairs of the BCG shorts (two L and two XL, since I couldn’t tell which size was right for me), I still picked up another pair of UnderArmour after I got back. I also found a pack of two athletic Adidas boxer briefs for about $25, so they were even cheaper than the BCG shorts and worked better. I needed some new underwear anyway.

Once we got to the hotel, we immediately headed back out to find a local fast food place to eat, and then to find our way to the doctor’s office. They gave us an address for the office because Google Maps didn’t show the right address if you tried to search for just Dr. Hickman’s name. The address was a small office in the corner of a small, nice community of other business offices. The office was near a road called “Gruene Road” but it’s pronounced “Green Road” (“Gruene” is German for green).

TIME TO SHAVE:
All that done, we headed back to the hotel and worked on our laptops for the rest of the day/evening (both of us only took off time for Thursday and Friday). It was a little too stressful of a moment to be in the right mood for a farewell-to-sex-for-three-weeks romp, so I took a shower before bed and shaved every hair off my crotch and about 1/2 inch around it. The nurse had told me that I should arrive looking “like the 10-year-old version of yourself.” I apologize to the Hilton Garden Inn of New Braunfels, TX if I contributed to any plumbing problems, but it didn’t seem like it. It did take a while to do, though. My neck was beginning to hurt from looking down for so long. It is surprisingly difficult to be thorough in the shower.

Anyway, after about an hour, I got it all and went to sleep.

Finding the Right Doctor

I began calling a few local doctors to see who could see me for a consultation and what their cost would be. Every receptionist said the same thing – there would be a $250 consultation with the doctor, which was mandatory for any reversal.

STICKER SHOCK:
I was just looking for a “yes” or “no”, assuming that “no” would be the answer, so paying a doctor $250 so he can sit down for 10 minutes, ask me some questions and tell me that it’s probably not likely…. yeah, that wasn’t a thrilling idea, but I finally found one that said my insurance company might cover most of the cost of the office visit, so I scheduled a visit and prayed that it would result in some good news.

Later that afternoon, I decided on a whim to search for vasectomy reversal doctors who were outside my state, and I came across the web site for a doctor who was advertising the procedure for $3000. Now, I’m a person who believes that anything that sounds too good to be true normally is (and my wife is twice as cautious), so I took the doctor’s name and spent a few hours on Google searching for him and reading through different forums where people talked about their experiences with him. Since everyone seemed to have good things to say and several had said they were pregnant a few months afterwards, I decided to keep him as a candidate and kept searching.

The next day, I went back to his website and read his bio, assuming he would be a new surgeon that was low-balling the price to be able to get some experience. Instead, I discovered something that made a bit more sense – that this was a Christian ministry for him, so it wasn’t about making money. I grew up a Christian on the missionary field in South America, so I saw lots of different people exercising their skills not for money but rather to serve God. Whether you believe in God or are a Christian or not – all that is beside the point. He does it because he believes that God gave him the skills and opportunity to do it (and it was pretty easy to see all this from talking to him), and he already had a profitable career as a surgeon before he started this.

SOMETIMES YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR CERTAIN QUESTIONS:
Interestingly enough, he NEVER asked me if I was a Christian or not (I never said I was, just to see if he would ask or would try to preach to me). The procedure was also less than a week before the 2012 election, and he did not ask me who I was voting for. While I’m sure he would’ve been glad to hear that I am a Christian, I figured a Christian doctor from Texas would not have enjoyed hearing that I am also a Democrat. He mentioned in passing that he didn’t have very many patients who were Democrats, but stated he wouldn’t pry any further into who I was voting for. As much as I trusted his intent to provide his service as a ministry, I didn’t really want to discuss controversial politics with ANYONE who was about to have a significant say in whether I was able to have kids or not, much less anyone who was about to put a knife near my nuts. I wondered how many other Democrats had become Republicans for the day.

BACK TO THE RESEARCH:
I’m getting ahead of myself. At this point in time, I still hadn’t talked to him yet, so I didn’t know anything beyond what his bio claimed.

So I called his office and spoke to the lady that answered the phone, who answered all my questions very politely. She said that, indeed, the entire price for the procedure was fixed at $3,000, and that if I submitted a form to the doctor with some background information, that the doctor could tell me whether or not I was a candidate for the surgery. Thankfully, none of this required a consultation fee or anything, so I figured it couldn’t hurt. So I sent the form (just some basic contact information and questions about the original vasectomy) and the next afternoon I got a call from the doctor himself to talk a bit about the procedure and to tell me that I was indeed a candidate and that if I wanted to go with him, that I could set up a date for the operation whenever I was ready. I asked him what he thought the chances for success were and he said that while no doctor can guarantee anything, that I had approximately a 65% to 75% chance of success. I re-iterated that it had already been 11 years since the vasectomy and he told me that this wasn’t unusual and that fewer people had the operation after the 10 years, so many of the statistics simply didn’t have much data on reversals after that period of time. He said that two of his patients had successfully done the procedure over 30 years after their vasectomy.

I talked everything over with my wife, and while she very hesitant to go ahead with a surgeon she hadn’t even met face-to-face, she ended up trusting my instincts and insisted that she be involved in all the calls to the doctor’s office going forwards. (She wasn’t 100% sure about anything until she was in the doctor’s office the day of the procedure. Afterwards, she told me she was happy about it all and felt that we had found the right one.)

Anyway, after all those conversations, I canceled my other scheduled consultation (no sense wasting $250), and called to set up my appointment with the new doctor. Not only did I feel very comfortable with the discussions I had with both the doctor and two different members of his staff, but he was also a Christian (which I appreciated), and $3000 was far more affordable (even after the added cost of airfare, a rental car, and a brief hotel stay). As they had previously told me, I had to pay $500 at the time I scheduled my surgery (which I put on my AAdvantage card so I could get some miles), and chose a date two months from that point in time (Nov. 1st). The doctor required a follow-up appointment the day after the surgery (to check up on the results and make sure everything looked fine), so I figured a Thursday surgery would set me up for a Friday follow-up appointment and a weekend of recuperation.

ON PAIN AND BEING AN ASSHOLE:
Due to the pain I felt following my original vasectomy, I was hesitant to plan on flying back the day after the surgery, but it worked out fine. I just had to look and feel like an asshole while my wife carried all our luggage through the airport on the way back. I exaggerated my limp so people wouldn’t stare as much.

THE FINAL COST FOR EVERYTHING: $4400
When all was said and done, it cost approximately $4400:

– $3000 for the surgery
– $100 for a few pairs of UnderArmour compression shorts from a local sporting goods store appropriately named “Dick’s Sporting Goods”
– $50 for a bottle of Advil, a prescription antibiotic, a prescription painkiller
– $250 for a rental car from Hertz
– $700 for round-trip airfare (Delta – sadly I didn’t have enough AA miles and Delta was the cheapest flight at $350 per person)
– $300 for 2 nights at the Hilton Garden Inn

There were several hotels and motels nearby that would have worked just as well for cheaper, and a cheaper rental car and airfare, so I probably could have shaved another $200-500 off if I really wanted to save as much as possible. If you happen to live within driving distance to San Antonio (New Braunfels, to be specific), then you can skip all that extra stuff.

THE DOCTOR AND SOME LINKS:
The doctor I chose was Dr. Mark Hickman:
http://micro-vas-reversals.com/

I always try to find negative and positive reviews on things to get a balanced picture, so I had come across this article in my research of Dr. Hickman, which gave me some further pause (until I realized the whole site was a sneaky advertisement for another doctor):
http://malereproduction.com/vasectomy_reversal/why-a-high-quality-vasectomy-reversal-cant-be-performed-for-3000/

All of the non-advertisement search results and forums seemed to have positive comments about him, like this board, which discussed the increase in his fees from $2500 to $3000:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a27231703/dr._hickman_is_now_3000..

Now that I’ve had the procedure, I would agree with the comments that talked about his prompt responsiveness. He also gives his patients a private email address and his cell phone number for any questions afterwards. He went above and beyond what I expected from a doctor. There are plenty of other sites and reviews from people who have had the procedure with Dr. Hickman and I never came across one review of someone who regretted their choice. People usually only review things when they are very happy or very upset with how they’ve spent money, so a lack of negative reviews was encouraging.

Anyway, the week before the surgery, I paid the remaining $2500 of the procedure cost (2500 more miles), picked up some compression shorts, and mentally prepared myself.

The Change of Heart

A little over 11 years after my vasectomy, I got married for the second time. On our very first date, I disclosed that I couldn’t have kids and that I didn’t really want them, either (fantastic conversation topic to have on a first date over dinner, by the way – “smooth talker” has never been a phrase associated with me). She was on the same page about not wanting children, either (whew!), so things were working out just fine, in my opinion. Neither of us predicted that our strong-held opinion could change so quickly.

In previous years, I had briefly contemplated a reversal and having kids only once in a blue moon. Those thoughts weren’t anything serious, since I knew I couldn’t have kids anymore. I just kept remembering the doctor telling me how unlikely a reversal was after 10 years . A few months after being married, though, I kept thinking about it more and more. My wife and I sat down and talked about it and we were both on the same page again. Both of us felt strange about having changed such a huge life decision so quickly, but we kept talking about it and after a few more months, I was on Google, searching for information on vasectomy reversals and success rates.

The good news was that success rates now seemed marginally higher than before , but most still seemed to indicate that it wasn’t even a 50% chance. The bad news was that the process was far more delicate than a vasectomy, so it required multiple people and usually general anesthesia. Even worse, no insurance company covered the cost of the reversal, so I was looking at a cost of somewhere between $7,000 and $15,000!!!Keep reading! While I do pretty well, I had just gotten married and paid for a honeymoon, so I didn’t have that much to spend on the operation. I assumed I would have to just save up before I could take the first steps down this path.

Since there was a possibility that this wasn’t even a possibility, the unknown was weighing pretty heavily on both my wife and I. She suggested that I should at least talk to a doctor to see if it was even a viable option. If it wasn’t, then we could try to move on with our lives and put it all behind us. So I began to look for a doctor to do the consultation…

In retrospect, this was probably one of the most stressful parts of the entire process. I was completely in the dark about doctors. Which doctor is good and which one thinks a butcher’s cleaver is an acceptable scalpel? Everyone sounded equally experienced and it started becoming a question of who was closest to my house.