Rollercoaster Months – Aug. 8th

Wow, what an unbelievable amount of ups and downs over the past 8 months. The short answer to someone’s recent question about success is that no, we have not yet been successful, but there is a lot more info to that story, and it is still ending on a positive note.

“A DANGEROUS MAN”
After the surgery, Dr. Hickman had joked about me being “a dangerous man” in about 3-4 months. Everything had gone swimmingly, and in conjunction with that statement, we had REALLY high expectations of getting pregnant in that time frame (around February – March). However, February came and went, and about halfway through March, we decided that I should go ahead with the semen analysis. However, I put off getting a follow-up semen analysis because of various things that were going on in our lives, including a move from Virginia all the way to Texas in April. Then, after our move, there were more complications in our lives that delayed getting the analysis done, but FINALLY we got around to doing it in May.

THE RESULTS
The process of doing a semen analysis wasn’t too bad. They try to make you comfortable and give you everything you need to provide a “sample” but it’s hard to shake the realization that you’re sitting in a small, dark room, expected to take care of business while some unseen lab tech is in the other room is waiting for a cup to be placed in a drawer. However, I did not disappoint the tech, and we began to wait to hear the results. The lab told us that they would fax the results over to the doctor and we’d hear back that afternoon. Long story short, there was a LOT of miscommunication and faxing problems that led to us finally just asking for a copy of the lab results, which was promptly faxed over.

Until I saw that result, I had been blissfully unaware of what people meant by the word “devastation.” The lab report wasn’t hard to understand when there was a clear comment on the side that said that zero sperm had been seen and there had been no other discrepancies seen in the sample.

I rarely, RARELY ever cry, but I had placed so much hope and faith into the assumption that the surgery had gone well that it was absolutely numbing and impossible to hold back tears. I sat there, shocked, then showed the report to my wife, who tried to be supportive but realization hit both of us and we had not heard back from the doctor, either. I’ll skip over the next few weeks, but you can likely imagine that every day was dark, and every other day contained a discussion, “Why us? Why can’t we get pregnant while teenagers get knocked up all the time by accident?” On top of that, the summer of 2013 has pretty much been filled with EVERYONE getting pregnant or giving birth, from friends to celebrities to British royalty, so it was pretty much impossible to avoid being reminded of failure on a daily basis.

Since we still hadn’t heard back from Dr. Hickman, we researched a number of things on our own that could have been impacting my count:

1. Retrograde Ejaculation – This is basically when there IS sperm, but it can’t get into the semen because some nerves aren’t firing right, so the semen ends up going into the bladder instead. Sometime after sex, my urine would be cloudy, which was a symptom of this, so we tried the “Sudafed” approach (apparently 2-3 pills of regular, non-timed-released Sudafed helps the bladder close off so that the sperm go into the right spot). Typically, this also has a symptom of SOME sperm in the semen, and also a low volume of ejaculate, so it wasn’t likely to be the cause for me, and sure enough, it didn’t help. To be certain, I also tried an at-home semen analysis test from Walgreens after taking the Sudafed, and no luck.

2. Varicoceles – This is when some veins get dilated with excess blood in the scrotum and cause blockages. Not much you can do without surgery here, and the symptoms didn’t all fit, so we moved on.

3. Scarring – This would be when the surgical site scarred over too much, blocking the vas deferens, even though everything was connected. This would result in a zero sperm count, and my wife pointed out that I also scar fairly easily, so we were pretty positive this was the issue.

4. Insufficient Recovery Time – Some internet stories said that people had gotten zero sperm counts and later had achieved pregnancy anyway (miracles?), and that recovery could take up to a full year. We also considered the idea that maybe something had come loose. I had experienced cramps during recovery, but maybe those were a sign of something else.

My wife’s gyno (who apparently specializes in infertility, too) said that it sounds like things scarred over, and he had never heard of the Sudafed approach (which made us feel stupid), and he referred a urologist  that he knew who dealt with this topic and was also specialized in infertility. He also mentioned that IVF was still an option, but we REALLY REALLY do not want IVF. At the very least, we figured that I should get checked out to make sure nothing came loose or anything wrong like that.

So we went to this doctor, Dan French. After waiting for about a half-hour in one of the examination rooms, he finally showed up, did a couple tests, and essentially echoed the gyno, except he had said that he knew about the Sudafed approach and had recommended it for patients with retrograde ejaculation. So we felt a little less stupid about that part, but this guy had ZERO bedside manner. Talk about a doctor who is completely detached and distant. My wife broke down in the office when he basically said that it was probably scarring and that a second reversal (which is even more delicate and risky)  was the only way, aside from IVF, and he just seemed to continue, trying to get through it and get out of there. In any event, we asked a lot of questions, but he said there’s no way to really see inside to see if it’s scarring without another surgery, but that everything still felt attached.

Still depressed: check.

DOCTOR HICKMAN 
My wife told me to try and call Dr. Hickman again. It had been weeks since the results had been faxed over, and we had received no word from him. “Wrath” does not adequately describe my wife’s feelings towards him at this point.  She really just wanted closure on the topic, and getting his opinion was pretty much the last step.

So we finally were able to get on a call with him. He apologize profusely for the mixup – apparently he had marked off something that said that he had already gotten back in touch with us. However, he said that the zero sperm count was confusing since everything had looked so good during the surgery and he had seen how the scarring had been from the original vasectomy. He suggested that it might be chronic inflammation, and that I should take two Ibuprofen, twice a day, for a month, and then go get another analysis.

He asked if I had taken the Fertility Blend vitamins that he had suggested, and I said no, and he said to keep holding off on that for now.

We hung up and there was a glimmer of hope, but four Ibuprofen for a month did NOT seem like the answer. Still, I started the regiment and went back for another analysis a month later (late July).

THE SECOND SEMEN ANALYSIS
Holy… A NON-ZERO COUNT!!!! Dr. Hickman called back to say that while my count was still really low (550,000 sperm vs. the normal 20 million), that there was definitely some sperm and that I should continue the Ibuprofen regiment and start with the Fertility Blend, too. I got the results faxed over to me, too, so I could keep it for memorabilia.

I was SO unbelievably happy to have a non-zero count. I didn’t care if it was a low count – a low count meant that there was SOME success, and that things weren’t completely scarred off! (In retrospect, I’m beginning to wonder if Dan French and the gyno both got kickbacks from IVF procedures or something, since they both heavily suggested it as the best next options for us. )

THOUGHTS ON FERTILITY BLEND
I’m not really big on taking supplements of any kind. To some degree, I think people invest too much into homeopathic remedies, but I figured I would give it a try anyway. GNC sells this stuff locally for about $40 for a bottle of 60 capsules, so at two pills a day, it’ll last a month. I’ve been taking it for about a week now, and I feel fine, although a couple of times, I’ve felt a bit nauseous, but it’s not been too bad. This morning, I decided to try taking it in the morning with the first two Ibuprofen, but I forgot to eat, and I ended up throwing up. So note to self (and readers): if you’re on this regiment, make sure you eat something BEFORE taking the vitamins!

ON ALCOHOL AND DIET SODA
I thought a while about what I had done, eaten, drank after my surgery, and I realized that during all the ultra-stressful months between the surgery, Christmas, some craziness at work, and moving to a new state, I had probably had at least one glass of wine a day, and I practically lived on Diet Coke during work hours. That said, I’m wondering if all that wine and diet soda had an impact on inflammation, so I’ve cut it out almost completely. I’ll have a drink if we go out to dinner at a restaurant, or a soda if we pick up fast food, but pretty much nothing else while at home. It’s not really a scientific test, since there are multiple things going on that could affect the sperm count, but it’s better for me anyway not to have an excess of either of those things, so we’ll see what things look like at my next analysis in about 2-3 months.

FINAL THOUGHTS FOR NOW
I have to admit that even with a tiny count that would be nearly impossible to result in a pregnancy, I feel a sense of renewed hope that was absolutely demolished after that first analysis, and I’m very grateful that Dr. Hickman had the insight to suggest something that nobody else (including the urologist who supposedly specialized in this area) had suggested. Sure, it was frustrating not to hear from him for so long after the first results, but stuff happens.